Tuesday, mom and I took the dogs to the Sherman Beach Trail, which is part of the trail we biked on a few weeks ago. I think they enjoyed the new scenery, and it was nicer for us because it was almost completely shaded for the section we walked on. Nothing much happened the rest of the day- the house was pretty quiet because Ben went to work with Dad, so I worked on cleaning my room for a little while and then read more of The Insider's Guide college book. Time's running out to pull my final "look at and decide" list together, and I really should start working on applications since deadlines will come faster than I think, so I'm feeling the pressure a little. :)
Wednesday, our Westminster uniforms came from Land's End. It was bittersweet, because I can't help but feel a little relieved since I'm always less stressed when all the pieces for starting school are coming together (especially since this year I have no idea what to expect), but it made me really sad I won't be wearing the uniforms I've spent every weekday for the past 8 1/2 years wearing. (I'm not sad about not wearing those uniforms, just sad I'm not in the school and with the people!) :) You can't try everything on in a store like with Providence, so it's a trial-and-error process of buying and returning a few times until you get it right.
After trying it all on and deciding what worked and what needed to be returned, mom and Ben started talking about making room in his closet for his uniforms. Ben absolutely hates to have mom help him with room stuff, especially the closet, which always seems to come up as an argument. I came downstairs to hear Ben asking mom if I could help him rearrange it instead of her. I thought briefly about the potential issues with that arrangement, but I figured it would be better than Ben getting mad at mom if she helped him with it, so I agreed after she gave the permission. Ben and I happen to differ on the idea of organization. To me, there is nothing better or more "aesthetically pleasing" than an organized room with everything similar grouped together and everything with its own location, all working together. To Ben, being a typical 13 year-old boy, he's okay with it as long as it's all shoved in somewhere and it appears to be clean (not organized, just "clean") I decided to approach the whole thing by telling him that I was going to make it so that if mom walked in, she'd never have anything to "catch" him on again- it was like killing two birds with one stone, because future conflict would be avoided and the closet would be cleaned and perfectly organized too. :)
Wednesday, we only worked on it a little bit, so the real drama didn't come until Thursday...
I told myself from the beginning that I'd make sure to keep an even temper while dealing with his apathetic opinion about where everything should go, and I kept reminding myself that ultimately, as long as it looked like the doors could shut, he'd be fine with it. But really, if I'm devoting my time to help him clean it, something should at least come out of it, and the job should be done right. Why waste time doing it halfway and getting nothing truly accomplished? It's like cleaning a house but getting bored halfway through and deciding not to bother with the second floor. It diminishes the great job you did cleaning the first floor, and you're not even left with a fully clean house. :)
So, after a while of pulling all his shoved junk out and laying out a plan so that he could reach everything he needed regularly, Ben lost interest and began laying around on his bed and on his floor and just kind of tossing things everywhere without caring where they landed. I could see we were going nowhere, so we took a lunch break. As we headed upstairs to dive back in, I began noticing that as we were putting things like... the hats I had pulled out of the shelves into the empty hat hanger... or the electronic cords tangled in a heap into bundles in a plastic bin... I was seeing two more of the same thing around his room that should go with what we had just designated a spot for and cleaned up. So I made the fatal mistake of venturing out from the wall where the closet is into the other junk-filled corners of his room. We got into our first small argument when he got mad that it was taking longer than he thought it should. He wanted a quick fix- he wanted for space to be made for the uniforms on his clothes rack and for the rest of his crammed closet to be ignored.
I walked away, telling him he could handle it on his own. After we both had time to be apart and cool down, I went to his doorway and apologized for getting frustrated with him. He apologized for getting mad at me since I was helping him, and asked me to help him again (I think he just did that because he still had a bunch of stuff on his floor!) :) We started back in, and the same situation happened again- he got tired of it and started laying around and getting mad that I was moving anything he owned.
We finished his closet, and I was so happy, because it was done, and I had done it so well that he now had 5 empty shelves, where before everything had been falling out. I started to grab a few of the random things that had come out of the broken cardboard "electronics bin" (things like an old Disney lanyard and a bag of shells) to put with the other memorabilia-type things he had, and he wanted to throw them in an extra plastic bin and throw the bin back on one of the empty shelves I had just cleared off. Now, just to vent a little, why would you want to put a bin full of stuff that's not something you would regularly use, like shells, Disney lanyards, and random trash pieces, on a shelf in your newly organized closet that has shelves specifically for easily accessible stuff?!? I should've stopped caring and walked away, but we were so close, and why should the closet I had just spent 4 hours organizing be ruined that quickly? So, I argued against his quick fix-it, and he just started yelling at me continuously, so I walked away and left him on his own. I'm sure half his useless junk is right back on those shelves now.... oh well.
I went back to my room and cleaned it for a while to get over the whole Ben thing, and later that night, mom and dad went to a concert that dad had gotten tickets to for their anniversary. While they were gone, Ben was over at the St. Johns' house, so I vacuumed the house and did the dishes during the commercial breaks of Say Yes To The Dress re-runs. :)
Friday, dad got home early, and we all got ready for our trip to Boston the next day.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
A Day In The Life!
Today was a really great day. :) I woke up at 6:30 to head to the hospital with dad for the day. We had a nice drive in, and the day started with an extra cath- a guy from the E.R. with chest pain. I got to suit up in scrubs, surgical lead, and even the shoe covers, hairnet, and mask to top it all off. :) Nerdy, I know, but I loved every minute of it. I had gotten to go with dad one time before, down in Florida, so I knew how it was going to go, but I don't think I could ever get tired of going with him and watching him cath.
By noon, dad had done 4 caths, visited numerous patients and consults in the hospital, and read a few studies. I was allowed to take some pictures during the last cath, with the patient's consent (nothing graphic or bloody- dad's more of a plumber, not a cut-'em-open doctor) :). He puts things like stents and balloons in to open up arteries for better blood flow. He inserts a plastic sheath either into the wrist or an area near the groin to thread the wires, stents, and such through up to the heart or anywhere else he may need to, like the legs. He tries to do it through the wrist as much as possible, because it's a straighter shot to the heart, and comes with less complications.
We ate lunch up in dad's office- soup and sandwiches from Panera, or St. Louis Bread Co., as it's called here, while dad handled 100 things needing attention from all different people and areas of the hospital. :) I told him I understand better now why all he wants to do after he gets home is sit down in his leather chair and say and do nothing. :)
He had a meeting at 2, so I sat up in his office and finalized some Boston travel plans, and then afterwards we went back to the cath lab so he could talk some studies and procedures over with the morning patients and their families. Later in the afternoon, he had a bunch of ECHOs to read, so he taught me about a few things as we went along. I was so proud of myself when I could recognize all the chambers and valves of the heart before he said them. :) By the third or fourth study, I was getting tired, and I had way more respect for dad, who reads hundreds of them all the time.
We headed home, driving with the windows down and dad's Car and Driver and Bob Marley cd's blaring. :) I had an awesome day, and I of course will never forget it. The excitement that I feel being in that atmosphere and learning everything I can about it makes me feel even more that I want to become a doctor. :) Dad and mom truly have the coolest jobs. :)
By noon, dad had done 4 caths, visited numerous patients and consults in the hospital, and read a few studies. I was allowed to take some pictures during the last cath, with the patient's consent (nothing graphic or bloody- dad's more of a plumber, not a cut-'em-open doctor) :). He puts things like stents and balloons in to open up arteries for better blood flow. He inserts a plastic sheath either into the wrist or an area near the groin to thread the wires, stents, and such through up to the heart or anywhere else he may need to, like the legs. He tries to do it through the wrist as much as possible, because it's a straighter shot to the heart, and comes with less complications.
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| Dad putting the sheath in the wrist |
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| Scalpel |
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| The "cocktail", as they call it- a mix of blood thinner and blood vessel dilator |
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| Hard at work- dad and Jamie at the table, with Tara at the computer |
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| The monitors and IV drips |
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| Hard to see, but the dark line coming out of the top left of the screen is the wire he's putting in |
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| Daddy in his Kenya cap :) |
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| Blood pressure |
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| Blurry because she moved, but Grace is assisting with the materials |
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| Grace :) |
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| Table view |
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| All done- getting the Hemoband ready to stop the bleeding |
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| Jamie in action; dad cleaning his gloves off |
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| Grace giving medication to finalize the procedure |
Grace and Tara switched off between the computer documentation and the assistance in the lab for each cath, and Grace talked through parts of the second cath with me so I could begin to understand what exactly I was seeing on the screens as dad threaded the wires through the heart. Dad told me to ask questions, but it's hard to know what specifically to ask besides "What's going on now?" :) , and he's focusing on doing a good job and finding out the problems, so he can't exactly focus on giving me a play-by-play in the cath lab. :)
Jamie, Grace, and Tara, the three ladies dad works with in the lab, are all really fun to be around, and great to work with. They were trying to come up with a nickname today for their group of four, and they decided that they were Charlie's Angels. :) When dad had left the room in between procedures, Tara (also an RN) said that when dad said "Oh Tara" when he needed a piece of equipment, she just wanted to answer "Yes Charlie". :) Dad and I headed up to his office in between caths, and I grabbed some peanut MnM's to share with the three of them, which they loved. Tara won the extra bag when we all bet on what the issue with the third cath would be. Tara had the winning guess, which turned out to be good, because she had guessed that nothing serious would be wrong with the patient's arteries, which turned out to be the case. :)
Another little joke they have is a big pink hula hoop that they keep in there- when I asked what it was, Grace said she keeps it there to work out occasionally (it's a weighted hula hoop I guess), and they've all tried to get dad to try it since he's been there. I tried to work on him because I can never pass up potential laughs for the blog or getting my dad to do something funny :) , and Grace even used some peer pressure by telling him that even his partner, Dr. Polizzi, had done it, but the farthest he would get into it was one foot. :) Grace still thinks they just need to get him in for a late-night call and make him think that no one's watching and he'll try it out, because he just can't resist. :)
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| Charlie's Angels, cath lab-style |
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| :) |
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| "Yeah right..." :) |
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| That's as far as he would go :) |
We ate lunch up in dad's office- soup and sandwiches from Panera, or St. Louis Bread Co., as it's called here, while dad handled 100 things needing attention from all different people and areas of the hospital. :) I told him I understand better now why all he wants to do after he gets home is sit down in his leather chair and say and do nothing. :)
He had a meeting at 2, so I sat up in his office and finalized some Boston travel plans, and then afterwards we went back to the cath lab so he could talk some studies and procedures over with the morning patients and their families. Later in the afternoon, he had a bunch of ECHOs to read, so he taught me about a few things as we went along. I was so proud of myself when I could recognize all the chambers and valves of the heart before he said them. :) By the third or fourth study, I was getting tired, and I had way more respect for dad, who reads hundreds of them all the time.
We headed home, driving with the windows down and dad's Car and Driver and Bob Marley cd's blaring. :) I had an awesome day, and I of course will never forget it. The excitement that I feel being in that atmosphere and learning everything I can about it makes me feel even more that I want to become a doctor. :) Dad and mom truly have the coolest jobs. :)
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| I had the best day with you today :) |
Sunday, July 24, 2011
1 Month
Oh, and today also marks exactly 4 weeks that we've been here.
I don't exactly know whether to put a smiley face or a sad one next to that sentence. :)
I don't exactly know whether to put a smiley face or a sad one next to that sentence. :)
Great Day :)
Today was the first day that I truly felt happy since we moved, even if just for a little while- where the thought occurred to me spontaneously: "I'm really happy right now." :) That hasn't really happened since we've been here, and I think I was in need of a happy feeling again, because being sad and working through everything gets tiring after a while, and it's never any fun.
The day started with a really hot dog walk and church at The Journey. Dad met up with us just as the service was starting after he finished his rounds at the hospital. We all agreed that the service wasn't as great as last week's, but despite that, mom still liked the church well enough. We're not done looking, but it's certainly a possibility. After church, mom and I stopped at Ulta so she could get some more hairspray and then met up with the boys at Jimmy John's for lunch. Ever since mom, Ben, and I went there a few weeks ago, Ben thinks it's the greatest thing ever and has asked to go back there for lunch every time we go out. :)
Afterwards, the boys headed home, and mom and I headed to Pier 1 to make some returns. KG :) had given me a gorgeous floral painting, and the dumb movers (the guy who packed my room did some of the silliest things in his packing jobs) dented and scratched the painting right in the middle- a tiny, although still noticeable, white divot was right in the middle of one of the flowers. I brought it with me to see if I could exchange it, and although they had just run out of the last one like it, the girl helping us was sweet enough to take it to the front, and while mom and I were shopping, she got creative with a highlighter and a colored pencil and fixed it all up. :) I was so happy it was fixed, and she was so nice and helpful about everything. So I get to hang the painting in my new room after all! :)
Mom got a basket for their bathroom and a reed diffuser for a holder we had gotten the last time we were in there, and I got 3 decorative wicker balls (sounds weird, but they looked Costa-Rican to me) :) and a really neat hand-painted candle.
I've been wanting to make the corner of my room by the window a seating area ever since we moved in, but every time I looked for a comfortable, cute chair, they were really expensive and not worth that much money. I was just going to wait it out and maybe even check some thrift stores for a fixer-upper I could re-upholster myself, but as we were walking around, mom spotted a chair and asked me if it was like what I had in mind. It was perfect, but I told her it would be too expensive, like the rest of them. When I sat down in it, it was so comfortable, and it was a really pretty tan suede, which would be nice since it could pretty much go with any decorating scheme. When I checked the price tag, I was surprised to see that it was an on-sale, as-is chair, marked down at half price! I went up to the counter to talk to the girl that had helped us earlier to find out what was wrong with it, since it was an as-is, and it ended up being that the only reason it was marked was because it was an older model, one of the last ones still in the St. Louis stores, and needed to be sold to make room for new things. I decided to get it for the space, and mom and dad helped me out, so I can pay it off over time. We loaded it up in the car after making our other purchases, and I am so happy I got a new chair, and for only $250 when it was originally $500!!! :)
We stopped at KMart on the way home to check on some other home decoration things since mom is planning out the guest room, and then we headed home. Dad and Ben helped bring my chair upstairs, and I'm sitting in it to blog right now. :) I'll definitely be camping out here for homework and lots of other things, and maybe even to watch the snow and drink some hot chocolate when winter comes. (Hopefully by then the Florida gang will be up here for a visit!) :) Dad likes the chair too, so I have a feeling he'll be coming up to my room a little more often to hang out. :)
The day started with a really hot dog walk and church at The Journey. Dad met up with us just as the service was starting after he finished his rounds at the hospital. We all agreed that the service wasn't as great as last week's, but despite that, mom still liked the church well enough. We're not done looking, but it's certainly a possibility. After church, mom and I stopped at Ulta so she could get some more hairspray and then met up with the boys at Jimmy John's for lunch. Ever since mom, Ben, and I went there a few weeks ago, Ben thinks it's the greatest thing ever and has asked to go back there for lunch every time we go out. :)
Afterwards, the boys headed home, and mom and I headed to Pier 1 to make some returns. KG :) had given me a gorgeous floral painting, and the dumb movers (the guy who packed my room did some of the silliest things in his packing jobs) dented and scratched the painting right in the middle- a tiny, although still noticeable, white divot was right in the middle of one of the flowers. I brought it with me to see if I could exchange it, and although they had just run out of the last one like it, the girl helping us was sweet enough to take it to the front, and while mom and I were shopping, she got creative with a highlighter and a colored pencil and fixed it all up. :) I was so happy it was fixed, and she was so nice and helpful about everything. So I get to hang the painting in my new room after all! :)
Mom got a basket for their bathroom and a reed diffuser for a holder we had gotten the last time we were in there, and I got 3 decorative wicker balls (sounds weird, but they looked Costa-Rican to me) :) and a really neat hand-painted candle.
I've been wanting to make the corner of my room by the window a seating area ever since we moved in, but every time I looked for a comfortable, cute chair, they were really expensive and not worth that much money. I was just going to wait it out and maybe even check some thrift stores for a fixer-upper I could re-upholster myself, but as we were walking around, mom spotted a chair and asked me if it was like what I had in mind. It was perfect, but I told her it would be too expensive, like the rest of them. When I sat down in it, it was so comfortable, and it was a really pretty tan suede, which would be nice since it could pretty much go with any decorating scheme. When I checked the price tag, I was surprised to see that it was an on-sale, as-is chair, marked down at half price! I went up to the counter to talk to the girl that had helped us earlier to find out what was wrong with it, since it was an as-is, and it ended up being that the only reason it was marked was because it was an older model, one of the last ones still in the St. Louis stores, and needed to be sold to make room for new things. I decided to get it for the space, and mom and dad helped me out, so I can pay it off over time. We loaded it up in the car after making our other purchases, and I am so happy I got a new chair, and for only $250 when it was originally $500!!! :)
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| Here's my new chair. :) Pictures of it in my room will come soon. :) |
I worked on organizing and decorating more of my room and bathroom, and then we all ate dinner together- tilapia. We had a really pretty praying mantis and a juvenile walking stick out on the deck tonight, so I'll post pictures of them tomorrow.
I watched a little Say Yes To The Dress and then headed upstairs to listen to some Francesca Battistelli and take a shower. Scott and Ben were watching Get Smart when I headed back downstairs, and I guess Scott is spending the night tonight. I joined them for a little while and then headed up here to blog.
Another great thing- I get to go to work with dad tomorrow. :) I've only been once before- back in Florida- where I actually got to scrub in and learn about what he does, and I loved it. I'm so excited to go tomorrow! Because of that, I need to head to bed soon, because he'll be waking me up at 6:30...probably the earliest I've gotten up since we moved here. :)
Today was just a really great day- no negative feelings or sadness about moving, no arguments within the family, and just a really great family day all around. And I love my new chair, which tops it all off. :) I'm really glad I had a positive day today, and it looks like I'll have an equally great one tomorrow. :)
Mexican Food and Hunting for Moles
Friday, I spent most of the day working on organizing my art cabinet downstairs in the basement. It's nice to have a whole corner for all my creative stuff down there, and mom and I are planning to go to some thrift stores soon to search for an old wooden table I can paint so I can do craft projects on it.
Later in the evening, we drove to Washington, where dad works, to meet him for dinner. One of the drug reps was having a get-together for about 50 of the cardiology and pulmonary people from the hospital, so dad wanted to stop by and introduce us to a few people before we ate. Once we sat down, we decided to order dinner since we were already there. It was nice to get to meet dad's partner, Dr. Polizzi, and some of the other people he works with. They were all friendly and nice, and dad has said before that it's great to work with them because they're all so good at what they do.
Yesterday, mom woke me up to take pictures of Buckeye, who dad had taken out to the front yard to let him loose on the moles digging holes in the grass. He started digging away as soon as he caught their scent, and by the time I got out there, the hole was big enough for his whole head to fit through. :)
That afternoon, Ben headed off to Six Flags with the St. Johns, and mom, dad, and I headed to the post office, McAlister's for lunch, Petco, and Dierberg's. Dad and I later stopped at Bethesda, a local nursing home/care facility so I could ask about volunteering there. Mom and I took the dogs down to the basement to run them around for a little while to burn off some of their energy. It's kind of funny, but Momo can't handle stairs very well. I feel bad because he's afraid to go down them, but he needs to learn there's nothing to be afraid of. Before this house, the other two rentals we've stayed in since we've had him haven't had stairs he's had to go on. He can handle the carpeted ones up to the second floor now, and we even call him the "mountain goat" because whenever we go up, he climbs up with us, but he still whimpers and runs away when he tries to go down the wooden basement ones. Friday, I worked with him and finally got him to go up and down by himself, but yesterday he was back to being afraid, and only ended up going down when the other two did. He'll get it eventually. :)
Later in the evening, we drove to Washington, where dad works, to meet him for dinner. One of the drug reps was having a get-together for about 50 of the cardiology and pulmonary people from the hospital, so dad wanted to stop by and introduce us to a few people before we ate. Once we sat down, we decided to order dinner since we were already there. It was nice to get to meet dad's partner, Dr. Polizzi, and some of the other people he works with. They were all friendly and nice, and dad has said before that it's great to work with them because they're all so good at what they do.
Yesterday, mom woke me up to take pictures of Buckeye, who dad had taken out to the front yard to let him loose on the moles digging holes in the grass. He started digging away as soon as he caught their scent, and by the time I got out there, the hole was big enough for his whole head to fit through. :)
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| Digging! |
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| "I'm gonna get those moles!" :) |
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| Down... |
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| Down... |
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| Down! |
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| The aftermath |
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| No moles :( |
That afternoon, Ben headed off to Six Flags with the St. Johns, and mom, dad, and I headed to the post office, McAlister's for lunch, Petco, and Dierberg's. Dad and I later stopped at Bethesda, a local nursing home/care facility so I could ask about volunteering there. Mom and I took the dogs down to the basement to run them around for a little while to burn off some of their energy. It's kind of funny, but Momo can't handle stairs very well. I feel bad because he's afraid to go down them, but he needs to learn there's nothing to be afraid of. Before this house, the other two rentals we've stayed in since we've had him haven't had stairs he's had to go on. He can handle the carpeted ones up to the second floor now, and we even call him the "mountain goat" because whenever we go up, he climbs up with us, but he still whimpers and runs away when he tries to go down the wooden basement ones. Friday, I worked with him and finally got him to go up and down by himself, but yesterday he was back to being afraid, and only ended up going down when the other two did. He'll get it eventually. :)
Friday, July 22, 2011
L-O-N-E-L-Y
Tonight (now technically last night), we sent in our Westminster applications online. One of the questions was why I desired to be a student at Westminster. Had to try really hard to come up for an answer to that one. It's not that Westminster is a bad school, or I don't want to go there or anything, because it's supposedly a lot like Providence. Bt the thing is, it's not Providence. It's just so so hard to feel alone here, because even though the family is here and they're all going through it too, I feel lonely almost all the time. Spending time with other people and with the family doesn't really help, because I feel lonely thinking about the senior year I'm not excited to be a part of, and the friends I just want to be back with right now. I still haven't grasped the fact that this is home. It's not my home yet. The only sense in which it is home is living with my family. This post is turning out to sound pretty negative, but the positive daily reports were getting a little boring anyways. :)
Just to continue in my sad mood tonight, I started making a list of all the things I'm going to miss out on this year, whether they're available at Westminster or not. It's not that I really truly care about whether or not there's a powder puff game, or a senior retreat, or senior ads in the yearbook, and a million other things, because even if those were to happen at Westminster, it wouldn't be what I'm talking about. It's that I will not be a member of the 2012 graduating class at Providence High School. I will not become incredibly close with my class and get excited to begin our last year through a challenging ropes course and praise and worship at senior retreat; I will not feel a sense of class pride, closeness to my best friends and fellow seniors, or school spirit when and if I play powderpuff; and I will not get to laugh at all the silly things that come along with putting your long-ago baby pictures in your senior ad in the yearbook.
It's hard to get excited about a senior year that's going to happen with no one you've ever met before, in a school you've never gone to before, with nothing you've ever known before. I was really excited and really proud to graduate with my class. And all of a sudden, life changed. I know this all sounds like a pity party, and it kind of is, but despite all this, I will still participate in opportunities and things this year, because to be detached from anyone and seem sad and unapproachable will only make for a truly miserable year, but it's just hard on so many different levels. I'm almost starting back at square 1 again: I have to work my way back through things like NHS, class officers, and the play, and even the currently non-existent dance team. I have to get used to all-new teachers, a new school, and most of all, a place where not one single person is a familiar face or a best friend I've gone to school with for 5 or more years, and not one single person knows who I am. I'm just feeling sad about the whole thing in general.
I've been wanting to write letters to everyone back home, especially since I haven't even gotten to formally thank them for everything they did the last few weeks I was there, but even just knowing that letters aren't going to change anything makes it hard to write them. Even if I write them 10 times a week, they will still continue doing things as a senior class and as a close friend group, and they will still be participating in senior privileges and events, and I will be left behind, missing all of them, and never being able to go back and join in the experience after it's done. I'll have my own senior year up here, but this is one thing I'm more than okay with sharing and not being the only one to not have what everyone else does. I want the same senior year all my friends will have, and I want the same senior year I had planned to have since I can remember.
Megan R. sent me a message on Facebook today that was a small bit of encouragement. It really did help, but probably not much is going to diminish these feelings and thoughts for a while. I'm just trying to wait them out and work through them and hope that time will help with everything, and maybe the business of school will keep my mind off of it most days. She basically told me that through a bible study she's doing on Jonah, there's the idea that "an interrupted life is a privileged life". That God's desire for your life is much more important than your own plans and ideas, and how we're supposed to realize the interruption, come to terms with it, and interweave it into our own "plan for life". She ended the message by saying that "likewise, many Christians pray God's will be done in their lives, and when it unravels right in front of them, they run because it doesn't play into their plans right then and there." Like Megan said, God is walking me through this entire process, and I just need to truthfully pray that God's will be done in my life and run with it when it's revealed.
I'll keep reminding myself through all of this that if God had this big of a life change for me planned, there must be something worthwhile and important here that I would've missed otherwise, and I need to be open and searching for that purpose here.
Just to continue in my sad mood tonight, I started making a list of all the things I'm going to miss out on this year, whether they're available at Westminster or not. It's not that I really truly care about whether or not there's a powder puff game, or a senior retreat, or senior ads in the yearbook, and a million other things, because even if those were to happen at Westminster, it wouldn't be what I'm talking about. It's that I will not be a member of the 2012 graduating class at Providence High School. I will not become incredibly close with my class and get excited to begin our last year through a challenging ropes course and praise and worship at senior retreat; I will not feel a sense of class pride, closeness to my best friends and fellow seniors, or school spirit when and if I play powderpuff; and I will not get to laugh at all the silly things that come along with putting your long-ago baby pictures in your senior ad in the yearbook.
It's hard to get excited about a senior year that's going to happen with no one you've ever met before, in a school you've never gone to before, with nothing you've ever known before. I was really excited and really proud to graduate with my class. And all of a sudden, life changed. I know this all sounds like a pity party, and it kind of is, but despite all this, I will still participate in opportunities and things this year, because to be detached from anyone and seem sad and unapproachable will only make for a truly miserable year, but it's just hard on so many different levels. I'm almost starting back at square 1 again: I have to work my way back through things like NHS, class officers, and the play, and even the currently non-existent dance team. I have to get used to all-new teachers, a new school, and most of all, a place where not one single person is a familiar face or a best friend I've gone to school with for 5 or more years, and not one single person knows who I am. I'm just feeling sad about the whole thing in general.
I've been wanting to write letters to everyone back home, especially since I haven't even gotten to formally thank them for everything they did the last few weeks I was there, but even just knowing that letters aren't going to change anything makes it hard to write them. Even if I write them 10 times a week, they will still continue doing things as a senior class and as a close friend group, and they will still be participating in senior privileges and events, and I will be left behind, missing all of them, and never being able to go back and join in the experience after it's done. I'll have my own senior year up here, but this is one thing I'm more than okay with sharing and not being the only one to not have what everyone else does. I want the same senior year all my friends will have, and I want the same senior year I had planned to have since I can remember.
Megan R. sent me a message on Facebook today that was a small bit of encouragement. It really did help, but probably not much is going to diminish these feelings and thoughts for a while. I'm just trying to wait them out and work through them and hope that time will help with everything, and maybe the business of school will keep my mind off of it most days. She basically told me that through a bible study she's doing on Jonah, there's the idea that "an interrupted life is a privileged life". That God's desire for your life is much more important than your own plans and ideas, and how we're supposed to realize the interruption, come to terms with it, and interweave it into our own "plan for life". She ended the message by saying that "likewise, many Christians pray God's will be done in their lives, and when it unravels right in front of them, they run because it doesn't play into their plans right then and there." Like Megan said, God is walking me through this entire process, and I just need to truthfully pray that God's will be done in my life and run with it when it's revealed.
I'll keep reminding myself through all of this that if God had this big of a life change for me planned, there must be something worthwhile and important here that I would've missed otherwise, and I need to be open and searching for that purpose here.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Swing-A-Round Fun Town
Yesterday, mom, Ben, and I ran some errands at Target and Dierbergs, and I got a few more bins for my art cabinet, since I'm in the process of organizing and unpacking all of it.
The St. Johns got home from their trip yesterday afternoon, and Lindsay and Scott invited Ben and I to a youth group event at Swing-A-Round Fun Town, which is a lot like Adventure Landing in Jacksonville. We had to get medical forms notarized at the bank, which was another one of our errands.
After coming home, I registered for some Boston college tours- we'll be seeing Amherst, Mount Holyoke, Boston College, Harvard, MIT, Tufts, and Wellesley. Mom made chicken pot pies for both our family and the St. Johns, so Ben and I scarfed down a slice and ran out the door to meet Mrs. St. John and everyone at 5:20. She dropped us off at the church, where we then took two church buses to the Swing-A-Round Fun Town.
We all had unlimited rides on go-karts and bumper boats and unlimited batting cage and put-put golf access. Lindsay and some of the other girls and I kept switching off between the go-karts and the bumper boats. I got absolutely soaked from all the squirters on the bumper boats. :) We tried to ride the go-karts to dry off from the two times that we went on the bumper boats, but I was still wet when we got home. :) It was a fun night that ended with a dog walk and some more college research online.
The St. Johns got home from their trip yesterday afternoon, and Lindsay and Scott invited Ben and I to a youth group event at Swing-A-Round Fun Town, which is a lot like Adventure Landing in Jacksonville. We had to get medical forms notarized at the bank, which was another one of our errands.
After coming home, I registered for some Boston college tours- we'll be seeing Amherst, Mount Holyoke, Boston College, Harvard, MIT, Tufts, and Wellesley. Mom made chicken pot pies for both our family and the St. Johns, so Ben and I scarfed down a slice and ran out the door to meet Mrs. St. John and everyone at 5:20. She dropped us off at the church, where we then took two church buses to the Swing-A-Round Fun Town.
We all had unlimited rides on go-karts and bumper boats and unlimited batting cage and put-put golf access. Lindsay and some of the other girls and I kept switching off between the go-karts and the bumper boats. I got absolutely soaked from all the squirters on the bumper boats. :) We tried to ride the go-karts to dry off from the two times that we went on the bumper boats, but I was still wet when we got home. :) It was a fun night that ended with a dog walk and some more college research online.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
College Concerns
Today, I slept in for a while and had a slow start to the morning. Mom, Ben, and I sorted through a few more things in the garage, but we can only do a little bit at a time because of the stifling heat. I worked some more on college stuff, not only for Boston, but in general.
It's been a little stressful for me, because there are just so many options and so many colleges out there, and I tend to have the feeling that I may be missing something when I'm searching, and when I start to try and narrow a list down, I may still miss a college simply because it didn't come up or I've never heard of it before. I know that I will never be able to fully research every single college and make a decision about whether I want to go there or not, but it's hard because of my tendencies to try and cover all the bases and search through everything available. Right now, I'm praying for peace and direction as I start to narrow down a list, and discernment as to where I'm supposed to go and where I'm supposed to consider for now.
Tomorrow I'm going to be calling and lining up the Boston college tours for our week there.
Mom made french toast, bacon, and peas for a breakfast dinner tonight, and then Dad and I headed to Walgreens and the Home Depot to run some errands.
It's been a little stressful for me, because there are just so many options and so many colleges out there, and I tend to have the feeling that I may be missing something when I'm searching, and when I start to try and narrow a list down, I may still miss a college simply because it didn't come up or I've never heard of it before. I know that I will never be able to fully research every single college and make a decision about whether I want to go there or not, but it's hard because of my tendencies to try and cover all the bases and search through everything available. Right now, I'm praying for peace and direction as I start to narrow down a list, and discernment as to where I'm supposed to go and where I'm supposed to consider for now.
Tomorrow I'm going to be calling and lining up the Boston college tours for our week there.
Mom made french toast, bacon, and peas for a breakfast dinner tonight, and then Dad and I headed to Walgreens and the Home Depot to run some errands.
Bean Town!!!
Strange title, I know, but apparently it's a nickname for Boston. :) We're going to Boston!!!!! We've had it planned for a few days, but yesterday was the first day I started planning for college visits. We'll be going July 30- August 6. I've wanted to go to Boston for a long time, so we're doing a family vacation and combining it with college visits so I can get a feel for if I want to live there in college or not.
Monday started out with a dog walk with mom, and then after breakfast, I unloaded the dishwasher and washed the dishes. The pest company guy came to try and figure out why we were hearing pattering feet noises in the ceiling at night. When he finished looking around and exploring the attic space, he came back downstairs and announced that we had birds, squirrels, mice, and wasps up there. Haha. :) There are even two bird carcasses right above my room. I just love the craziness that always seems to happen in the Moore family. :)
Later that afternoon, I researched some colleges that Robin had suggested for our visit and then joined Ben and mom out in the garage to sort through some boxes (our favorite pastime). :) Not too long after, dad got home, and we had ravioli casserole for dinner. It reminded me of my early 18th birthday party that I had back in FL before we left, when we had it for dinner with everyone. I miss all of you guys! :(
The rest of the night was uneventful, with a few episodes of Say Yes To The Dress and some more college researching. :)
Monday started out with a dog walk with mom, and then after breakfast, I unloaded the dishwasher and washed the dishes. The pest company guy came to try and figure out why we were hearing pattering feet noises in the ceiling at night. When he finished looking around and exploring the attic space, he came back downstairs and announced that we had birds, squirrels, mice, and wasps up there. Haha. :) There are even two bird carcasses right above my room. I just love the craziness that always seems to happen in the Moore family. :)
Later that afternoon, I researched some colleges that Robin had suggested for our visit and then joined Ben and mom out in the garage to sort through some boxes (our favorite pastime). :) Not too long after, dad got home, and we had ravioli casserole for dinner. It reminded me of my early 18th birthday party that I had back in FL before we left, when we had it for dinner with everyone. I miss all of you guys! :(
The rest of the night was uneventful, with a few episodes of Say Yes To The Dress and some more college researching. :)
Acts 29- The Journey
Sunday morning, dad, Ben, and I headed to The Journey. Mom had a really bad headache, so she didn't join us. The journey is an Acts 29 church- a really doctrinally sound organization of church plants that are a lot like Eastside Community Church, where we went in Jacksonville. It's kind of unique because there is no Acts 29 in the Bible, but the statement from their website is: "There are 28 chapters in the book of Acts and it is our belief that God is at work today continuing the building of His church and expansion of His kingdom through the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are simply seeking to follow in the pattern of Spirit-led and Scripture-directed church planting and evangelistic ministry that began in the book of Acts and has continued in every age since through God's faithful servants." Essentially, they're "writing" the 29th chapter of Acts. The service started with worship- a not-too contemporary, but not-too traditional mix. When we greeted some people around us, there was a Lauren sitting next to us and another Lauren behind us. :) The sermon was a video sermon given by a pastor from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary on the faithfulness of Boaz, since the church is in the middle of a series on the story of Ruth. It was a really insightful look into a story I had heard before, but never thought of in the way it was analyzed. We took communion- everyone walked to the front, took a piece of bread from the loaves, dipped it into the glasses of wine, and ate it there. It was a different way of taking communion than we were used to, but the doctrinal explanation given before communion was just like Eastside. We closed with 2 more worship songs. I really liked the church and could see our family going there.
We decided to try Uncle Bill's Pancake and Dinner House for lunch afterwards. It's a quaint diner that's just as unique as it's name. :) I had a blueberry waffle, dad got tropical pancakes, and Ben got chicken nuggets and cottage cheese. :)
We came home and hung out with mom for a little while, who still couldn't get rid of her headache. The boys wanted to head to the shooting range for a little while, so I decided to join them after dad invited me to go along. We headed to Walmart to get ear protection for me, and then out to the Jay Henges range. I had never shot a gun before, so I started with dad's .22 that he got from his dad. It wasn't as bad as I thought, and I did pretty well for my first time.
Dad and Ben both shot some more, and dad shot his shotgun (the deer slugs were huge). I decided not to try shooting that one, since last time dad shot it, he bruised his arm pretty badly. :)
After we had spent enough time out in the heat for the day, we headed for home. On our way back, we drove through a neighborhood in the middle of the woods to look at the houses just for fun. It was really hilly because it was on the side of a big hill heading down into a valley, but all the houses were really nice, and we took pictures of the for-sale ones just for fun. :)
After dinner that night, we walked the dogs, and then watched What Women Want on tv. :)
We decided to try Uncle Bill's Pancake and Dinner House for lunch afterwards. It's a quaint diner that's just as unique as it's name. :) I had a blueberry waffle, dad got tropical pancakes, and Ben got chicken nuggets and cottage cheese. :)
We came home and hung out with mom for a little while, who still couldn't get rid of her headache. The boys wanted to head to the shooting range for a little while, so I decided to join them after dad invited me to go along. We headed to Walmart to get ear protection for me, and then out to the Jay Henges range. I had never shot a gun before, so I started with dad's .22 that he got from his dad. It wasn't as bad as I thought, and I did pretty well for my first time.
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| My target |
After we had spent enough time out in the heat for the day, we headed for home. On our way back, we drove through a neighborhood in the middle of the woods to look at the houses just for fun. It was really hilly because it was on the side of a big hill heading down into a valley, but all the houses were really nice, and we took pictures of the for-sale ones just for fun. :)
After dinner that night, we walked the dogs, and then watched What Women Want on tv. :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Bike Rides and Slip N' Slides
Saturday, Ben, dad, and I got up to walk the dogs and then headed to the Y to swim laps for a little while.
Afterwards, we decided we wanted to go on a bike ride, but mom unfortunately doesn't have a bike yet and also needed to stay at home for the tile guy who was coming, so the three of us loaded our bikes and lots of water into the car and drove to the Meramec Trail. One end of the trail starts near the house, but if we would've started there, we would've had to tackle going up a big hill at the very end, when we were worn out and tired, so we drove to the far end of the trail.
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| Dad pumping air into our tires- his neon yellow shirt was visible from a mile away! :) |
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| The old helmet's padding was falling apart- combined with the heat, it left me with a black forehead. >:/ |
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| All ready to go biking :) |
After getting back to the first trail marker, we headed the other direction in the fork to go up the hilly trail near the house. Although the scene was very peaceful and beautiful, and the many bridges were nice to ride over, the constant uphill ride tired us all out in the 90 degree heat. By the time we all reached the last few yards, we all hopped off our bikes and started pushing. :) I'm really glad we reversed the trail, because the ride back down was simply coasting for almost the entire trail back to the car. :)
We reached the final gate to the road leading to the parking lot, but the gate was closed, and Ben didn't notice in time. That, combined with the sharp curve and the slippery gravel, caused him to wipe out on his bike, leaving him with a few bloody scrapes and cuts. We were just glad he was okay and hadn't broken any more bones.
We rested at a picnic table for a few minutes to cool off after our ride, and then headed back home. Within 5 minutes of us unloading our stuff from the car and hosing off the muddy bikes, Ben wanted to pull out the slip n' slide to cool off. I shouldn't have, but I suggested he lay it on top of the hill in the side yard so he could slide down it. He, of course, loved the idea and got right to work hammering the stakes in. Dad pulled out the IPhone, because some pretty funny footage was sure to follow, and sure enough, it did. :) I put together a video of Ben, so I'm going to try and upload it in the next post.
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| Rocket |
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| Control Panel |
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| Launch Pad |
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| Dad inspecting the rocket |
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| Dad putting the rocket fuse in |
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| Wrapping up the parachute |
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| Ready for launch! :) |
The launch in the video ended in the trees. :( It's really hard to see because when I uploaded it it became blurry, but the part at the end where it's a bunch of clouds is where it's falling into the trees in our backyard. I sound like an idiot in the video because Ben launched it before he got to one, and then I couldn't find it! Oh well. :)
The evening concluded with mom and dad heading to the grocery store and Target, and then Ben and I watching Legally Blonde on tv when they got back. :)
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